I decided last Friday to cut alcohol completely from my life. I’d already cut it down to just drinking at the weekend but now I want to see how healthy my body can be without it at all. It feels like the missing self care piece I need. I realised I’ve been using it as a comfort particularly over the last two years since my marriage ended. Time to love myself completely!
Georgia - this is incredible to hear! Yes ‘the missing self care piece’; that’s so true. Thank you so much for sharing this. Our own experience is the absolute best way to make a change like this, and it sounds like you are really clear on the benefits of an alcohol-free life.
It’s totally understandable that you have been using alcohol to cope with such a big life change and all the painful feelings that can come with that. I’d be so interested to know the loving ways you’re taking care of yourself now, if you’d like to share? Celebrating you x
Ellie I Loved this - you write beautifully and honestly, and that makes for great reading :) I'm so pleased to be able to pass this on to some friends as well... This is the only attitude to take to our past, our difficulties, ourselves and each other isn't it? Wonderful :)
Ah thank you so much Beth! So glad you enjoyed reading it and I'm delighted you can pass this to others who might find it helpful. Hopefully inspiring!
Thanks Ellie for sharing your story so openly. Makes me question the collective story that a little drink is ok (or even recommended!) It makes me question my own relationship with it. I love what you say about welcoming all feelings (of course I do!) and gratitude is something I love too. 🙏
Hi Peter, yes our culture has such strong messages about how great alcohol is! My relationship with it began to totally transform when I learned what alcohol actually does to our brain and bodies, and questioned whether alcohol was actually meeting my needs.
Unfortunately a lot of misinformation is spread by the alcohol industry, much like the tobacco industry did for years. For example, the famous study that seemed to show that moderate drinkers are healthier than teetotallers has been debunked: the original study included people who had quit because they had significant alcohol issues so their health was already not in good shape. It's now clear that drinking even small amounts carries significant health risks. So I think it's important people know this so they can make a truly informed choice about whether they want to include alcohol in their lives.
Thank you for writing this. And letting it come out the way it did. Of all the lessons I’ve gleaned in sobriety I think the biggest one might be the welcoming of all my feelings. I recall telling a friend who was considering sobriety about all the tears that fall (still) and she said, “Allison, you’re not selling this very well.” 🤣.
But the thing is - we figure out that the only was way out is through. I’ve had to trudge through my messy feelings to actually land in legitimate relief. It’s hard but the best kind of hard. I know you get it 🫶
Ha ha - I love your friend's comment Allison! Yes, I think when we tell people 'sobriety is amazing, you get to feel all your feelings' a lot of people understandably go 'er, that sounds awful' LOL. But as you say, the only way out is through. 'It's hard but the best kind of hard' - I love this.
And one of the wonderful things about sobriety is YES it means feeling all the grief, sadness, loneliness, all the difficult stuff, and also - as has been the case for me - the most soaring, expansive gratitude, joy and love, that was never possible when I was harming myself with alcohol.
This is such beautiful piece. It took me such a long time to realize how bad alcohol was for me. For years, I thought depression and anxiety was my normal state, but I was wrong. My sober baseline is entirely different. What a relief when I discovered that removing alcohol removed so much of my mental anguish.
Thank you Priscilla. Yes, I relate to the relief you describe! It's almost like getting your head above the water and really seeing things for the first time isn't it? I wish more people knew what life could be like on the other side of alcohol. That we don't have to accept the baseline we think we do. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks so much for the mention, for this message, and for sharing your story and wisdom, Ellie. Sometimes the "answer" is so simple (even if not easy), and it blows my mind that so many healing professionals ignore the role of alcohol in making mental (and physical) health worse and potentially being the biggest variable that needs to change before anything else can shift in a deep, sustained way.
Yes, and I so, so wish it was more widely known. I think many doctors must still believe the 'moderate drinking is OK' myth? As you say: it is so simple and the difference it could make to people, just making this one - admittedly huge and difficult! - change in their lives.
What a lovely and vulnerable piece, thank you for sharing it! Completely agree that quitting alcohol has been the number one most helpful thing for me in my mental health journey. It just helped in SO. MANY. WAYS. (many of which you articulated). I just spent a week with family, which normally would've included heavy drinking and some really tough challenges and triggers (and thus led to more drinking). This time I was not only able to have a lot more fun (and wake up feeling good every morning), but I was also able to hone in on exactly what was (and wasn't) triggering, giving me some very concrete things to focus in on in therapy. Just one way in which quitting has helped me grow and heal.
Thank you for sharing this Patrick - what a gift to be able to find out what was really going on for you, and see that as a messenger and something that needs attention so it can heal. We can never give these things attention when we're numbing with alcohol. And also thank you for recognising and sharing that it's not always easy and the triggers are still there, but the difference is how we show up for ourselves.
I very much relate. I “avoided” depression and anxiety via alcohol only to realize 30 plus years later it had gone nowhere and was most definitely worse. Looking for ways to rid myself of the thing I needed and need to listen to. We’re all taught to avoid the negative, to push it away, ignore or drown it out. Not until sobriety could I begin to see this. You’ve written and spoken this and many other great points in this piece. Many thanks.
Ah Trace - this is moving to hear. Yes. It is the experience of so many of us. Sobriety gives us the chance to finally listen to ourselves, doesn't it? It's magical. And it can take a long time to get there. I'm so glad my words resonated with you.
Loved listening to this lying on my bed doing some breath work. In the past I’d have been using a glass of wine to relax instead. I’m not perfect but I’m getting there. Thanks for taking the time to record this
Ellie. This is brilliant.
I utterly agree with the points you make. There is just no place for alcohol, especially when mental health is in a bad way.
Great audio too. Thank you.
Thank you Adam! I realised the audio is a bit glitchy (I just did it on my phone) so will try my next one with better audio equipment.
I decided last Friday to cut alcohol completely from my life. I’d already cut it down to just drinking at the weekend but now I want to see how healthy my body can be without it at all. It feels like the missing self care piece I need. I realised I’ve been using it as a comfort particularly over the last two years since my marriage ended. Time to love myself completely!
Georgia - this is incredible to hear! Yes ‘the missing self care piece’; that’s so true. Thank you so much for sharing this. Our own experience is the absolute best way to make a change like this, and it sounds like you are really clear on the benefits of an alcohol-free life.
It’s totally understandable that you have been using alcohol to cope with such a big life change and all the painful feelings that can come with that. I’d be so interested to know the loving ways you’re taking care of yourself now, if you’d like to share? Celebrating you x
I’m learning new ways all the time, many of which I write about here.
I journal every morning, then meditate and practice yoga for an hour. Then I do some study for an hour.
I make sure I eat healthy meals and I take supplements.
I’ve learned to set boundaries and to say no to things and people that aren’t in alignment with how I want to live my life.
Actually sharing with others what’s helped and is helping me has also brought me a lot of joy.
Love these Georgia, and so similar to many of mine ❤️
Ellie I Loved this - you write beautifully and honestly, and that makes for great reading :) I'm so pleased to be able to pass this on to some friends as well... This is the only attitude to take to our past, our difficulties, ourselves and each other isn't it? Wonderful :)
Ah thank you so much Beth! So glad you enjoyed reading it and I'm delighted you can pass this to others who might find it helpful. Hopefully inspiring!
What a relatable and beautiful post! Made me hit that subscribe button very quickly!
Aw thank you Michelle! Great to connect with you.
Absolutely! Great to connect as well!
Thanks Ellie for sharing your story so openly. Makes me question the collective story that a little drink is ok (or even recommended!) It makes me question my own relationship with it. I love what you say about welcoming all feelings (of course I do!) and gratitude is something I love too. 🙏
Hi Peter, yes our culture has such strong messages about how great alcohol is! My relationship with it began to totally transform when I learned what alcohol actually does to our brain and bodies, and questioned whether alcohol was actually meeting my needs.
Unfortunately a lot of misinformation is spread by the alcohol industry, much like the tobacco industry did for years. For example, the famous study that seemed to show that moderate drinkers are healthier than teetotallers has been debunked: the original study included people who had quit because they had significant alcohol issues so their health was already not in good shape. It's now clear that drinking even small amounts carries significant health risks. So I think it's important people know this so they can make a truly informed choice about whether they want to include alcohol in their lives.
Thank you. It does not surprise me that the industry would spread misinformation! I will research more… 🙏
Thank you for writing this. And letting it come out the way it did. Of all the lessons I’ve gleaned in sobriety I think the biggest one might be the welcoming of all my feelings. I recall telling a friend who was considering sobriety about all the tears that fall (still) and she said, “Allison, you’re not selling this very well.” 🤣.
But the thing is - we figure out that the only was way out is through. I’ve had to trudge through my messy feelings to actually land in legitimate relief. It’s hard but the best kind of hard. I know you get it 🫶
Ha ha - I love your friend's comment Allison! Yes, I think when we tell people 'sobriety is amazing, you get to feel all your feelings' a lot of people understandably go 'er, that sounds awful' LOL. But as you say, the only way out is through. 'It's hard but the best kind of hard' - I love this.
And one of the wonderful things about sobriety is YES it means feeling all the grief, sadness, loneliness, all the difficult stuff, and also - as has been the case for me - the most soaring, expansive gratitude, joy and love, that was never possible when I was harming myself with alcohol.
This is such beautiful piece. It took me such a long time to realize how bad alcohol was for me. For years, I thought depression and anxiety was my normal state, but I was wrong. My sober baseline is entirely different. What a relief when I discovered that removing alcohol removed so much of my mental anguish.
Thank you Priscilla. Yes, I relate to the relief you describe! It's almost like getting your head above the water and really seeing things for the first time isn't it? I wish more people knew what life could be like on the other side of alcohol. That we don't have to accept the baseline we think we do. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks so much for the mention, for this message, and for sharing your story and wisdom, Ellie. Sometimes the "answer" is so simple (even if not easy), and it blows my mind that so many healing professionals ignore the role of alcohol in making mental (and physical) health worse and potentially being the biggest variable that needs to change before anything else can shift in a deep, sustained way.
Yes, and I so, so wish it was more widely known. I think many doctors must still believe the 'moderate drinking is OK' myth? As you say: it is so simple and the difference it could make to people, just making this one - admittedly huge and difficult! - change in their lives.
What a lovely and vulnerable piece, thank you for sharing it! Completely agree that quitting alcohol has been the number one most helpful thing for me in my mental health journey. It just helped in SO. MANY. WAYS. (many of which you articulated). I just spent a week with family, which normally would've included heavy drinking and some really tough challenges and triggers (and thus led to more drinking). This time I was not only able to have a lot more fun (and wake up feeling good every morning), but I was also able to hone in on exactly what was (and wasn't) triggering, giving me some very concrete things to focus in on in therapy. Just one way in which quitting has helped me grow and heal.
Thank you for sharing this Patrick - what a gift to be able to find out what was really going on for you, and see that as a messenger and something that needs attention so it can heal. We can never give these things attention when we're numbing with alcohol. And also thank you for recognising and sharing that it's not always easy and the triggers are still there, but the difference is how we show up for ourselves.
Thanks, Ellie
I very much relate. I “avoided” depression and anxiety via alcohol only to realize 30 plus years later it had gone nowhere and was most definitely worse. Looking for ways to rid myself of the thing I needed and need to listen to. We’re all taught to avoid the negative, to push it away, ignore or drown it out. Not until sobriety could I begin to see this. You’ve written and spoken this and many other great points in this piece. Many thanks.
Ah Trace - this is moving to hear. Yes. It is the experience of so many of us. Sobriety gives us the chance to finally listen to ourselves, doesn't it? It's magical. And it can take a long time to get there. I'm so glad my words resonated with you.
Loved listening to this lying on my bed doing some breath work. In the past I’d have been using a glass of wine to relax instead. I’m not perfect but I’m getting there. Thanks for taking the time to record this
Ah amazing Rachel! Love hearing you acknowledge your progress and also bring compassion for your humanness ❤️